The Heart's True Essence
by HoneyFlavoredPocky
Summary: After dying at the hands of his teammate, Ienzo is reborn and given a second chance. Too bad he can't remember anything and Aeleus is claiming that they used to be lovers. And what the hell does Axel want? Yaoi. Lemon. Aeleus x Ienzo, later AkuRoku
1. Born Again

Title: The Heart's True Essence

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Riku would be more than just a pawn. hehe

Summary: Zexion's about to discover a truth he forgot a long time ago. Yaoi. Lemon in later chapters. Aeleus x Ienzo (Lexaeus x Zexion).

A/N: :D Enjoy! This will be a multi-chapter love story between two ex-organization members. Don't like yaoi, don't read. :D New to the concept, feel free to learn here. Here's a good a place as any to begin your journey to the amazingness that is yaoi. Possible pain later... not really sure yet : \

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><p>xxx<p>

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><p>The darkness evaporates around me, leaving me in a dimly lit room without only the sound of my own echoed steps. The world is spinning and the limping doesn't help as I make my way towards the wall, clinging to it for support and refusing to let go as if I'd disappear. He had been too strong for me… no… not too strong… too determined. And I, acknowledging my lack of a heart, would never be able to compete without the feelings the other possessed. Organization XIII was strong and powerful, but without emotions, doomed to failure. I now know this better than anyone.<p>

"What is he," I breathe heavily, grasping at my empty bosom. What could he possibly possess, emotion-wise, that would cause such strength to burst forth. I, number 6, am far more superior than Vexen, Larxene and the others ever were… and yet he managed to defeat me with little to no effort… what emotion could give that much strength? Or perhaps it was a lack of emotion… but why would us, the Organization, who too lack emotion, not be able to keep up to par with the Keyblade bearer? "No one's ever wanted darkness the way he does," I try to process, smashing my fist into the wall as my body sways on its own accord. "It's.. impossible." Impossible… or un-comprehendible..?

The familiar sound of swirling darkness, like heavy winds, sounds to my right and my chest lurches… but why? My eyes avert to the new on-comers, spotting Riku, his outfit tight and hair shining against the darkness of the room, eyes full on contempt. Behind him, Axel stepped from the portal and my eyes narrow. Betrayal? My body pastes itself against the wall as I feign fear involuntarily, chest aching with what I could never understand… not in this life.

Neither of them move, watching me before I finally realize that what stood before me was not Riku. "Oh yes… the replica, of course," I all but smirk, self-assurance coursing through my blood. "We can use this Riku to defeat the real one." This is what they'd want to see, my mind continuing to process to best suit their needs. However, they remain without response and my brows furrow, confusion filling the empty cavity within me, not understanding what it is they want to hear from me now. "Axel?"

"Wouldn't you like to be real?" The fiery red head responds, his lips never flinching to show any signs, stiff and hard. It is the replica who nods his head in response, his cold, dead eyes never leaving my body. Axel's face breaks, a faint smirk rising as his voice continues to breach the echoing walls of this dark basement. "All you need is the kind of power that the real Riku doesn't have." What is the meaning of this? Why bring the puppet before me only to tempt it into empty desires? Why demonstrate his manipulative powers before me? Does he seek my assistance… or do other intentions lie beneath that monstrous exterior? "If you can get that, you can be a new person. Not Riku nor anybody else. You won't just be a copy of someone. You'll be unique. Your own self."

Once again, my chest lurches, realizing his plan behind these dangerous words. "Axel? What are you saying to him!" Promising a puppet co-created by my hands something that I couldn't provide… This truly is betrayal…

"You know. He's as good a place to start as any," the fire wielder crooned, a hand waving idly through the air. I have to escape, but my mind's racing, caught in the moment. It wasn't supposed to be this way… I wasn't some pathetic tool like the others. I was of use to the organization… I was irreplaceable. My power escapes me and only words and chaotic thoughts remain on my side.

"You can't do thi- ugh!" I groan, the mindless being's hand grasping at my cloak with an iron fist. I gasp, unable to break his grip, trying desperately to claw, kick… something to break free. It wouldn't end this way… it couldn't. The darkness lightened to a sickening purple, consuming me.. violating and infiltrating… my body shakes in desperation, eyes closing despite all plees from within.

"So sorry Zexion… you just found out way too much."

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><p><em>It's dark… so dark, I can't even see my own shadow… my own body… if I even have one…<em>

**_Don't I even warrant a hello, Lexaeus?_**

_Lexaeus…_

**_Forgive me Zexion, this was a fight I should not have started…_**

_He left… me…_

**_Your hopes are nothing. Nothing but a mere illusion…_**

_Wasn't everone's…?_

**_Surely you must've known that this was going to happen…_**

_My own words… turned against me… as I return to the darkness once again…_

The air is still… quiet… It's bright and warm… the sun draped against my cheeks, kissing each one to wake me from what feels like an eternal slumber. Groaning faintly, I sit up, feeling lighter than before. A hand raises to my hair, brushing through it faintly, eyes sliding open to take in my surroundings. It's all strangely familiar…

The walls surrounding me are dark grey, light, hallow diamonds plastered against them. They're height nears my shoulders, several wide streams of water bellowing against them. Four paths expand through them, clearly distinguished with gardens separating each. I sit in the center, a mosaic beneath me, depicting what I can only remember thinking to be a midnight blossom, it's navy shades like that of the ocean's and deep, heavy skies.

"Radiant… Garden…" I mutter, staring around. Warmth fills my heart, full of familiarity and comfort and I'm… happy?

"Hey," comes a deep voice from nearby and I instinctively turn towards it, groping for the Lexicon no longer near me… nothing is near me… not darkness or emptiness… what's going on? "You're here."

His face is no different than before Axel had gotten his hands on him, still as tight and unwelcoming as ever. But his eyes tell a different story… a different light. "V-Vexen?" I mutter, slightly dazed.

He smiles… there's something wrong here. "Even… don't you remember your true name?"

I stare at him. Even? How long such a name has absorbed dust, eventually having collapsed under the weight and becoming enveloped into the darkness of my forgotten memories. And my own name… "What happened?"

He stares at me, no longer in that lab coat he once wore before the organization, but in more… comfortable (?) clothing. His figure is finally revealed to be thin and brittle, jeans tight against his tooth pick legs and a black turtle neck hugging itself close to him. His hair seems more natural, draping down his shoulders as he moves towards me, offering a hand. "We're not sure yet… "

"We're?" I parrot, watching him before accepting his offer, being lifted to my own, unsteady feet. How long was my body out of commission?

"Me and Aeleus," he offers, making sure I don't collapse back to the ground before finally letting go. The feel of skin is something I thought I'd never feel again.

"Aeleus," I mutter, staring down at the ground. While my heart flips, my mind continues to test my nerve, seeing how long it can push me until I become angry from the lack of certainty. Why did the name sound so familiar?

"Tell me you didn't forget him," Even smirks, watching me. There was definitely something there… something that was making my heart scream in desire. His smile is genuine while his actions are not, thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of his nose, face down cast as he shakes his head sympathetically. "Oh, won't he just be devastated to know you've forgotten him, little one," he acted, earning a vicious scowl from my end.

"Just tell me who he is!" I mutter desperately, grasping at my own shirt.

He smirks, watching me. "You're body knows who he is… you're blushing."

I stand there, mouth agape before suddenly crying out, "What are you talking about!" I can feel it now, the burning in my cheeks. Everything about my body is unstable, reacting to this simple name.

"I'll let you sort through your memories," he smirks, watching me. "All we know is that after we were terminated, we were reborn with hearts… we still have all of our memories from both our human and nobody lives. So it might just take a while for you to become accustom to them again."

I continue to stare at the ground, looking from piece to piece as if it will help jog my memory. No such luck. Even leads me towards the castle that I can remember, memories of long hallways filling my mind. I remember my hand in another's, moving slowly down one of the deep red halls, tasting the sweetness of the salty ice cream. I didn't say anything back then… not a word. After witnessing the death of my parents, there was nothing worth saying. Because to me, regardless of what one said in their lifetime, it wouldn't matter… it all ended in death.

"We were Ansem's apprentices," I finally mutter, taking my first step back into the long forgotten castle. Even's nod of approval encourages me to continue, my eyes consuming everything… these eyes are the same eyes of that child who once wondered the hall, seeing everything but never sharing. "There were six of us."

"Do you remember all of them?" Even asks, leading me towards what I remember to be Ansem's study.

"I was young," I mutter, looking down. "I don't remember much."

He looks towards me. "You grew up here… You've only been away from here for a few years… Can't you remember anything from your later years here?"

… nothing…

He looks away, muttering, "Perhaps that's why Aeleus isn't there…" We stop outside of the door and he mutters, "The Organization still exists… and so long as we exist, Nobody or not, we're in danger. Not all of have come back yet… some remain without feeling still… without heart… and they will not hesitate to get their hands on us for their experiments."

I stare at him silently, wondering just how long it had been since that Replica had gotten his hands on me, my heart burning with contempt and vengeance, but strangely calm and tranquil. "We're in danger?" I mutter softly, half way trying to figure out more details while also letting Even know my understanding of the situation.

He nods before muttering, "So just like when you were a child, I'm afraid we're going to have to keep you locked up in the castle…"

I look towards him silently before muttering. "I can fight…"

He shakes his head, watching me. "None of us can find our arms… we can not control the darkness… There is no hope for us if we were caught. And even if we can, we're not here today because we could fight successfully. Isn't that right?"

I turn away from his gaze, the feeling of the chilled darkness against my skin in a faint memory. He was right. "I understand."

"Good," he mutters, patting my head. Aeleus used to pat my head, I realize, able to feel him and remember everything… just not his face… who was this Aeleus to me? "Let's go in… Aeleus has been worried sick for you."

For me? He remembers me… and I… "Okay," I agree, stepping behind him as we enter the warm, lightly decorated, circular study. In the chair, a larger man sits, his brown hair wild and short. His features are tough but reveal a trait of humanity and caring. His outfit resembles that of the guard's outfit he once wore, probably simply because it was far too difficult to find normal clothing to cover the giant comfortably.

"Lexaeus," I greet softly, stepping forward, my cheeks burning again. No… "Aeleus."

He smiles, moving to stand. "It's been a while, Ienzo."

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><p>xxx<p>

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><p><strong>So this was the first chapter of a fanfic I was never supposed to write XD I need to be studying for a test that will determine the next five years of my life and here I am getting swooped off once again into a beautiful land of yaoi. See, this is how it went down:<strong>

**Innocent little HoneyFlavoredPocky was struggling to study her Farsi, reading about bombings and hostilities and other unpleasanteries and suddenly her stomach went BLLLLAARRRGGGH! So she went and got the best bowl of instant ramen she's had since she left home about a year ago and was naamnaaming on it and decided to look up a good yaoi story. But she couldn't find one that had anything of that sort and when I was searching I found a Zexion story so I decided to read it and it was a disapointment v_v;. So I decided to write one and decided to write about after his Heartless and Nobody were destroyed, making him whole again and went to go watching his death so I could mimik it and I noticed Lexaeus' death and I didn't know how he went so I clicked it and he went 'I'm sorry, Zexion…' and it was like someone clicked the 'yaoi fangirl' button.**

**So here I am, writing a AeleusxIenzo fanfiction that will be a few chapters long instead of studying for my DLPT . I iz in trouble. :D Plus I will not lie… I'm stuck on Second Chance. I know the ending and the events leading to it. I just need to figure out the details between. Well then! I hope everyone will enjoy this fanfiction!**


	2. It's complicated

Title: The Heart's True Essence

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Riku would be more than just a pawn. hehe

Summary: Zexion's about to discover a truth he forgot a long time ago. Yaoi. Lemon in later chapters. Aeleus x Ienzo (Lexaeus x Zexion).

A/N: I is a beast!

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><p>xxx<p>

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><p>Looking back at the last two years is like looking at a nightmare… a cold, empty time of my life. But during that time, it didn't seem like that at all… it was just… nothing.<p>

"It's been a long time," Aeleus mutters, stretching back and sighing in pleasure.

"Yes… the feeling of our hearts," Even began, touching his chest softly. "It's something I thought I'd never get to experience again."

I watch them, sitting in my own seat. My heart's panicking, but I won't tell them. Ever since I walked into the room, it's been beating so hard I can hear it in my ears. How amazing it feels though. So warm… so light. I smile, happy and examining their interactions. There's never been such an wonderful feeling… so much so my cheeks have begun to hurt from smiling so much. But this pain just makes me want to smile more.

Aeleus laughs, catching my attention. "Still the same as ever, Ienzo. Talk why don't you."

I blush softly, staring at him. I remember him when I was a child. He was always standing guard at the doors and I would experiment a lot, seeing what it took to escape and pass him unnoticed. He was my friend… my only friend. I can remember trying to distract him with one of his own special coins that I had stolen from his drawer, only to be caught in the scene of the crime.

"Why are you thinking of, Ienzo?" Even inquires, chuckling and I find my ears turning a bright red at this point.

"I uh… was just recalling when I had stolen Aeleus' challenge coin," I admit, entangling my hands together.

Once again, Aeleus laughs, looking at me. "I never heard you laugh as much as you did then."

I scowl playfully, replying, "You were tickling me!"

He smirks, standing and watching me. "Are you objecting to me touching you, Ienzo?" Even throws his hands up and chuckles, moving to leave the room and I watch him curiously, confused as Aeleus moves closer to me until he's just inches before me.

"I…" I can't think as he leans down, taking my chin softly and leaning forward.

"It's been too long… Ienzo." Suddenly, his lips are against mine, my heart jumping to my throat. My eyes widen, hands clinging to his shirt gently. My body betrays me, purring softly, my mind spinning. What's going on…? Why is Aeleus kissing me? He's… he's my friend.

Pulling away, he pets through my hair gently, whispering, "I've missed you, Ienzo… So incredibly much." His eyes stare down into mine with the intensity of peering into my soul and my heart flutters. Kissing my forehead, he pulls me close, whispering, "I love you."

"If you two lovebirds are done," comes Even's voice. "We should set up Ienzo's room now that he's joined us. And if the Organization are knocking members out, we should be prepped for the others to come back."

"You're right," Aeleus replies, wrapping his arm around my waist and I'm still baffled like an idiot, unable to respond or reply in anyway. Why did he act like it was so normal? Was it like this? Back then? "Let's go… we can continue this later tonight." His lips land against my ear and instantly, my body is screaming for more. Clinging to him tighter, I hide my face in his shoulder, mumbling incoherently. His breath is hot. "Later…"

Setting up my room was like being in another's home. They claim these things to be mine, but I can't recall a single thing. I confess this to Even who continues to assure me the memory loss is only temporary and soon I'll remember everything from childhood to this very moment. Thinking back, I could remember my life when I was a Nobody… why would it choose to vanish now?

Of course, there's not a single journal of any sort to help me, I discover as I finish the final corner of the room. Even's cleaning the fireplace and I can feel Aeleus' gaze on me. A few hours prior, I found myself humming, bringing great comfort to not only me but the other two as well. Since that time, I've continued humming small songs from what I can remember. Mostly children's songs, but they seem to keep the group entertained.

"So before you were removed, who else passed?" Even's voice cut through my own. Not harshly but almost with a bouncy curiosity.

"Only one since Aeleus left…" I turn towards them, holding my arms softly. "Marluxia hasn't come here?"

Aeleus shakes his head, watching me, that smile I had just grown accustom to vanishing, replaced with what I once figured was a permanent frown. "Larxene hasn't either."

_Thank god…_

Even stopped cleaning, his hands instinctively waving around him, just as they always had. He's got a thing for theatrics. "It's very possible they haven't come here because they aren't of this world… Just as the superior would not end here."

I turn towards him, mind traveling to the Superior, wrapping around Marluxia as well. Thank god they wouldn't be returning here. All the negative energy and unwanted attention… I could have done without. My body quakes instinctively and Aeleus is quick to spot it, moving over towards me before taking me in a tight hug, my body melting against his own.

"Don't worry, Ienzo. I'm here…"

And I believe it… so long as I'm in his arms, nothing can get me. Right?

"Thank you, Aeleus," I mutter, my heart warm, fingers twisted into his uniform again as I rest my forehead against his chest. "I lo-."

I stop. What in the world was I about to say? That I love him? It would be of my body's accord rather than my mind. Without memories of what we once were, how could I reach his expectations? No, it'd have to wait until I remember everything and can make a proper judgement. "loath Larxene."

They both laugh, agreeing with me and questioning whether anyone truly liked her. How could anyone? We were, after all, merely nobodies.

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><p>"So… this is where you go, raven."<p>

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><p>The sun sets against the buildings and I watch out the window, seeing the faint, golden glow as it whispers its final farewells of the night with as much glory as the sun could muster. Everything seems so beautiful now… so much more worthy of attention. My fingers rest against the glass before another, larger hand covers it, it's partner wrapping around my waist to my stomach. I blush lightly, leaning back against the man who now held me in the single most comforting hold I've ever encountered.<p>

"What are you looking at, Ienzo?" Aeleus questions lightly.

Turning my head towards him, I smile softly. "The sunset… I've never seen anything more beautiful."

His returns the smile, leaning down and kissing me lightly. His frame, easily twice my size, holds me close, leaving me feeling protected and warm. My heart dances in delight at the feeling and I close my eyes, breathing in his scent. It seems so familiar. It kills me… that my body remembers but my mind has become lazy.

"You're cute, Ienzo," he whispers, leaning down and kissing me lightly. Immediately my heart flips again, pressing up into the kiss. His hand runs against my stomach softly before sliding down, undoing my pants and immediately, I gasp, breaking the kiss. His lips are at my ear, throwing me into a frenzy I've never felt before. "Let me make you feel good, Ienzo."

I blush viciously, clinging him and whimpering gently. "Please…" Please? Me… begging? I am about to protest when the feeling of his bare figures against my groin stops me, causing a loud moan to echo through the halls. He smirks, giving me a warning of being caught. But at this moment, it simply didn't matter.

Leaning back against him, my body shivers in ecstasy as he begins to pump against me, my muscle painfully hard. His burning tongue wraps against my ear, heart beating itself to a pump. My knees become weak as I rely on the other fully for support, tilting my head to the side slightly, whispering a quick, "Oh my god."

I can only imagine his facial features, guessing that perhaps it is a smirk he's fashioning or some sort of variation of smile. His thumb runs against my tip and I thrust into his hand desperately, feeling him respond with more pressure and speed.

"Ah- Ael…eus," I pant desperately, pressure building deep within. I'm going to explode… literally, throwing my head back. "ngh ah!" Panting out a heavy whimper, I cling tightly to him before suddenly releasing, shivering in pure pleasure as the window becomes coated in thick, dove-colored liquid. A familiar smirk crosses his face as he licks his fingers and I turn my attention towards the window, wanting his mouth against mine, jealous of his fingers.

Pressing myself to the window, I lick at the liquid, its salty sweetness resting against my tongue. Almost like warm, sea-salt ice cream. He smirks, whispering, "Isn't it my job to clean up?" Leaning down, his own tongue infiltrates my mouth, consuming me and I purr into the kiss, clinging closely to him. How amazing he is. If only I could just remember… who this man it to me…

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><p>xxx<p>

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><p><strong>Chapter two complete. Mystery character selected. :D Dead tired and lots of studying to do tomorrow. I almost feel like I wasted the day today although apparently I didn't do bad on Reading but Listening's a bitch. I don't even do well listening to English, I dunno why they expect me to do so well in Farsi XD. BTW Ga Rei Zero, terrible sad and amazing anime. :D Just wanted everyone to know. I put it at number uh It's tied with Loveless and Gravitation. Probably just beneath Death Note and a few steps beneath Code Geass. It's soooo good though and I recommend it to everyone. It's only 12 eps long. :D Also it's confirmed there will be pain in later chapters so if you don't like it, I don't recommend you keep reading. <strong>


	3. Inconvenience

Title: The Heart's True Essence

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Riku would be more than just a pawn. hehe

Summary: Zexion's about to discover a truth he forgot a long time ago. Yaoi. Lemon in later chapters. Aeleus x Ienzo (Lexaeus x Zexion).

A/N: Sorry it took so long to make this chapter :D I'm sooooooooo happy though! I passed my DLPT! I'm about to graduate from the most challenging educational facility I've ever dealt with! I'm so incredibly happy! That also means that in one year I learned a foreign language fluently without being in the target country. I'm sooooo happy!Annnndd :D I've ranked up! Woot!

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><p>xxx<p>

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><p>My body still quivers with favorable memories of the other night, the warm sensation coursing through my veins, bringing a new found heat to my once frozen heart. At least that's how I saw it. Regardless of my point of view of my life, I knew this much to be true. This man who's earned a simple shadow in my memories has won me over… more times than once.<p>

Even too is moving through the halls, staring out the windows towards the darkening buildings and the inevitable sun setting behind them. Moving towards him quickly, I interrupt his thoughts, needing answers of my own.

"I can't remember anything, Even."

He stares at me, his brows furrowing faintly. "Anything at all now?"

I shake my head vigorously, grabbing at his jacket and muttering, "You know what I mean. From my teenage years…"

He smiles warmly, his hand rests against my head and I lean into the touch, looking to him for answers. After all, since the beginning, this man has been my father. He would know what's best for me, I'm sure.

"It's just going to take time," he explains, continuing to stare into my eyes with concern.

"No…" I mutter, looking at him. "I don't have time to let them come back on their own. I need you to tell me what it was like for me… what I should be remembering… cause he's expecting things out of me that I can't understand… that I can't remember." I'm frantic, eyes beginning to water out of fear and confusion. What if I messed up… big time? What if there was a reason I shouldn't be remembering what happened back then?

His own eyes watch me, laced with a new found seriousness. "Ienzo. I can not tell you what happened back then with you, Aeleus and your life. Forcing your memories to come can cause repression… it's possible they could even scar you. You need to allow them to come at their own pace."

"Even…"

He chuckles, his voice high and heavy in these empty halls. "You're so persistently stubborn now, Ienzo. Just like when you were a child. You were always trying to escape from these castle walls… It was amazing some of the schemes you developed at such a young age. I hope that although you're mind has created even more elaborate plans, you've learned better than to try to run again."

Nodding softly, I reply back almost automatically. "I won't run again." How many times did I tell him this as a child? Apparently enough to get that look again.

Eye brow raised and fingers taking his chin, he watches me with a look of absolute disbelief. "I find that hard to believe Ienzo. However, this is your chance to redeem yourself. Don't let me down again, alright?"

"I promise." Another automatic response.

_"The one thing I can assure you of, Ienzo, is that you were in a relationship with Aeleus prior to joining the organization. It was a healthy relationship, no abuse or fear or anything of the sort. You have nothing to fear because he has retained the same personality and feelings he had before becoming a Nobody. However, if you don't feel the same way towards him now, if there are no romantic feelings, then don't be afraid to end it and explain to him your feelings."_

Explain to him my feelings. I didn't know if I loved him because I can't remember what love is. All the years that defined what love was for me had now vanished and I was left with only guesses in the dark. These strange feelings in my stomach, like a thousand worms just wriggling around, and in my heart, like a million butter flies dancing… were these the indications of love? Or was it something else. This is just too much… to confusing.

_"You shouldn't continue if you can't give him what he wants, Ienzo. It's not fair for him and it's not fair for you."_

"Ienzo," comes a muffled voice and I look over, spotting a figure sitting in Ansem's study. Moving over, I nervously take the door, staring in towards him.

"Aeleus," I mutter, smiling faintly, heart and stomach beginning to rumble funnily again, eyes narrowing lightly and warmly. "I-" _Don't know what to do…_

"Come here," he smiles, lifting his hand up and motioning for me to move towards him. I can't help but mirror his expression, heading towards the chair slowly and happily.

"What are you doing?" I ask lightly, tracing my fingers against the desk. His eyes watch my small fingers like a beat watching it's prey, narrow and husky and my face heats up quickly, wisping my fingers against the wood slowly and temptingly. I want it… I want it all.

"I uh," he begins, swallowing and leaning forward in his chair. His hands grab at his pants and I smirk lightly, enjoying the power I have over his moves. Is this love? "Just studying some of Ansem's and Sora's research with our organization… Maybe weaknesses…"

"Weaknesses?" I smirk lightly, leaning forward against the desk, staring into his eyes.

He too watches back, swallowing again, his hands tightening against the fabric. "yeah… uh…"

I found his weakness… and I've never felt more powerful as I lean forward gently, resting my forehead against his own, hair caressing his face gently, shirt lose around my neck. His breath is spiced along with his skin, reminding me of the earth and I breath out in enjoyment.

"Ienzo," he whispers against me, leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine. Blushing viciously, my hands clasp to the desk, pressing my hips against the edge gently, already wanting more. This man.. is my own weakness. "I love you," he mutters against my lip, taking my cheek gently and my heart suddenly twists painfully, my eyes opening, body ceasing its action.

How do I feel?

He senses my stop, looking at me and whispers my name gently and I can't look at him, staring down, allowing my hair to curtain and block my face. "I'm sorry, Aeleus."

He doesn't understand, his eye brows furrowing lightly, pulling back. "What is it, Ienzo…" Silence. "Do you… not love me?"

"No!" I suddenly cry out, looking at him, eyes tearing up and body quaking in fear. I didn't want this to end. Not until I knew for sure… I couldn't let it. "I… I just don't know."

More silence.

"Don't worry, Ienzo. If you don't feel that wa-"

"I do," I cut him off again. Biting my tongue, I look at him again. "I mean… I think I do. I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

Watching the grains of the desk, I cling to the edge, desperately begging for the right words to come to me. "I can't remember."

The silence seems unending.

"You can't remember?" he parrots, his eyes never leaving me and I cling harder out of guilt.

"Anything from when I was a teenager… anything about us from before."

He takes a moment to process what I've just told before mumbling, "It's okay, Ienzo. I understand."

"No… you don't," I mutter.

"No I get it. You can't remember so I'm guessing it might not come back anytime soon. But don't worry… I'll wait Ienzo. I'll always wait or you."

"You… don't have to wait," I mutter, shivering. I'm inconveniencing him. I'm inconveniencing everyone and always have. It'd be better if I hadn't come… if I wasn't forcing people to wait for me… to help me out. I've always been useless since birth…

"I will wait for you, Ienzo. Even if it's to death." It's not right… he should be finding someone better… someone who can treat him right and give him what he wants. I'm … useless… and I create pain…

Taking off, I can hear him calling my name. But I won't go back. It'd be better if he didn't have to wait on me. It'd be better if Even didn't have to take care of me. It'd be better if I stopped breathing their air, taking their sun light…

Huffing heavily, I finally collapse to the floor after what seems like forever running. Breathing into the grass heavily, my chest aches in pain. In grief… in fear… I know this feeling too well… the same uncertainty that I had when my parents died…

Shaking, I finally summon the strength to look up. Far away from where I started, I can see the castle on the horizon. I've run away again… just like before… and I'm lost.


	4. Take me Home?

**Title: The Heart's True Essence**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Zexion would have gotten a lot more than just 10 minutes of screen time. **

**Summary: Zexion's about to discover a truth he forgot a long time ago. Yaoi. Lemon. Aeleus x Ienzo (Lexaeus x Zexion). Axel x Ienzo. Marluxia x Zexion. Demyx x Zexion.**

**A/N: Hello! I missed everyone! I'm so happy to be writing for you guys again and I really hope everything is going awesomely! :D P.S. there is rape in this chapter I'm sorry. Also lots of pairings. I have this mapped out to the very end so chapters should be coming out quicker! I promise. Also! 100 hits! Yay!**

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><p>xxx<p>

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><p>The sun is gone… and it's so dark. Walking in what feels like an endlessly wide puddle, I'm only guessing which way is correct. It's been hours…. Or least it feels that way. Darkness used to be so comforting, but now the feeling of it crawling against my skin was nothing more than unpleasant and unwanted. Shivering, I lean against the wall, hearing the sound of fountains somewhere in the distance. Why did I run? What had I hoped to accomplish? They won't let me leave… running was just a big mistake. And now they're going to have to go out of their way to find me.<p>

"I can't do anything right," I remind myself quietly, clinging to my shirt lightly. I've whispered this truth every night since they had left. Since- The sound of the wind picking up surrounds me, white shadows dancing seductively, illuminated by the dimly glowing moon above. Dusks…

"Go," I hiss tiredly. I have no time to deal with these mindless shells. However, they continue their dance, moving closer, provoking me. "Get lost!" I bark. However, they refuse to obey me… I am powerless now…

"My my my," chuckles a distant voice, echoing against the buildings menacingly. "So the dead do speak."

"Who's there!" I demand, clutching my fists tightly, eyes narrowing, desperately looking for a human figure… anyone.

"Tell me you're joking, Zexion… or is this Ienzo I'm speaking with?"

The voice moves in closer, vicious and playful and I try to back away from where it comes from, slipping and collapsing into the shallow stream. Fire lines around the waters and I can finally see his face, his eyes bright and hair flaming.

"Interesting," Axel chuckles, crossing his arms. "Isn't this a pathetic sight. My previous teammate, quivering in fear." He laughs and I wonder for a moment what it would feel like to be in his situation. To see someone who couldn't feel, just like him, given a second chance to smile and cry… to just be human. What could possibly be running it's course through him. "Must be nice." Nothingness and emptiness.

"What do you want, Axel?" I demand, my entire body shivering. Here was the man who betrayed me, sent me to my death.

"Tell me, did you fall back because you didn't want me to know you pissed yourself or have you really just become that clumbsy?"

"Axel!"

His lips curve into a feigned smirk, arms uncrossing and hands landing on each hip before bending at the waist. "Now now now," he croones. "Temper temper, Ienzo. I only came to see what little birdie was attracting my Dusks."

"Bullshit," I quake, narrowing my eyes at him dangerously. It's all a mask… I have no power now… but who's to say he knows.

"You always were the one who got into trouble, weren't you?"

I always was. More times than one, it was Lea or Isa who would have found me lost on the outskirts of the city and help me get back to the castle. Sometimes they would fight those creatures that had vanished years ago… the Unversed. They usually lost, but still… they put in the effort for me. "I was… are you going to help me find my way home?"

He looks at me with the expression of pity. "Lea's long gone, don't you know, Ienzo. And Axel's not going anywhere, got it memorized?"

Standing, I throw my arms out. "Names mean nothing, Axel! Neither does feelings or a heart! Because we still have our memories and I know deep inside of you, you can remember what it means to feel kindness and friendship."

He chuckles a bit, watching me. "Boy, are you preaching to the wrong choir."

Taking a step back, I begin to run, realizing that there would be no effort in him to restrain his desire to repeat the day of my death. After all, how beautiful was it to see true emotion at its finest as the light slipped from one's eyes. Zexion's death was only the opening band, mine would be the show. Before I could even get a good 15 seconds of running in, he's got me again, pressed up against the wall, gloved fingers deeply woven into my shirt, twisted for better grip. I whimper, the fiery touch blazing against my chest.

"Tell me," he smirks, clearly getting some sort of sense of accomplishment from my reaction, lifting me from the ground like a doll. "What of Marluxia and the others? Larxene, Vexen and oh… what was his other name…" Smirking, his eyes lock into mine. "Aeleus."

My heart aches in pain and I look away, watching the ground. Why did he always insist on these sick games? Why not just kill me already… it would be the end goal anyways. "I don't know."

His smirk widens, grip tightening so hard I can hear the threads snapping beneath the pressure. "Don't know? Is that so?"

"I-I'm alone… nobody's come back from the organization except me… "

His face looks devilish from the flames as he leans in, his other hand tugging and ripping at my shirt. "Then nobody will be here to save you this time."

He throws me to the ground, my hand cracking from the impact and I cry out in pain, sure the bone is fractured if not broken. Moving over, his hand traces into my hair, lifting me from my pained hunch.

"How beautiful pain can be… show me more, Ienzo."

"Stop it!" I scream, eyes widening.

_"Does it hurt?" I cling tighter to the bed, breathing heavily into the sheets, tears trailing down my cheeks. I won't say a word, not because of pride but rather knowing that any reaction will earn even worse punishment from this devil. "Good…" He smirks, his magenta hair messy and tangled with my own as he thrusts even deeper and I cry out in shock and pain. _

_"Don't break him yet," smirks the blonde, watching from the corner. "I haven't had my turn yet." What a sick and dark side he has when in the bedroom. _

_"His mouth is open you know, Demyx," smirks Marluxia, enjoying my pain before thrusting again so hard I can feel the blood running the length of my thighs. _

"You've left your body, haven't you, Ienzo," smirks Axel, having gotten me in position through brutal force, my body already coated with heavy, black bruises and burns. I shiver, not liking those uninvited memories but having wished so much they would have over lapped this coming experience. There is no escape… no point in fighting it.

"Please stop," I beg involuntarily. But there is no point as he suddenly thrusts into me, forcing a fresh, raw scream of pain. I'm on fire… everything inside is burning from the flames and I writh against his touch as he continues his torture, his muscle destroying me from the inside, ripping me open and burning… scorching. The pain is unbearable. "Stop! No!" I cry, clinging to anything I can, clawing heavily into the wet gravel beneath. Everything on me hurts, my entire body crying and shrieking. My throats so raw from the screaming I can taste blood. And I doesn't end, like hell… fire consuming my everything. _Just end it already… please… I don't want this pain anymore_.

"Axel!"

_No…_

He stops as if nothing had even started, turning his attention to the intruder standing on the other side of the line of fire, smirking. "Ah Aeleus… how nice to see you… so alive… so… full of anger. Is that jealousy I detect?"

"Step away from Ienzo, Axel." His voice is strong and heavy, moving closer and I close my eyes, only hearing their voices, in too much pain and too tired to stay awake. "This is not what you want."

"On the contrary, this was just a test to make sure it's what I want. And he passed."

"You sick fuck!"

"Temper Temper now, Aeleus. Our game is far from over." Suddenly, the voice is close to my ear, Axel's haunting words sliming their way into my mind. "I have something very precious to you, Ienzo… if you want them, you have to keep playing."

And then it was gone, the only sound being heavy and quick footsteps as the crackling fires died down and the whisping winds of the Dusks becoming to nothing. I hear my name before everything goes black.


	5. Another Side

**Title: The Heart's True Essence**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, 3D and KH3 would already be out!**

**Summary: ._. the plot thickens**

**A/N: I'm sorry for the long delay! I lost my muse somewhere along the way and wanted to finish up the 'Second Chance' story ((which apparently is a terrible ending because it got over 1000 hits in less than 4 days but 0 reviews … sad day)). I'm hoping to stay on track now : ] Thanks for sticking by!**

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><p><strong>xxx<strong>

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><p>It's so warm. I cuddle deeper into the warmth, resting against the gentle pillow, my body numb in silent slumber. My breaths are deep and I feel like I'm in paradise. Turning to face the other way though, I'm quickly reminded of last night, sharp pain shooting up my spine like lightning, causing me to whimper in agony. Clinging to the pillow, my hand shrieks, lightly bandaged and casted. My entire body begins to ache, the gentle warmth becoming a consuming fiery pain. Dozens of spots on my body ache, almost merging together in some sick, twisted prank.<p>

"We have to leave this world." I can hear them outside of this room, behind my closed door. They're trying to speak quietly, perhaps to hide their conversation from me. However, the echo of this castle betrays them, heightening their voices just enough to reach my ears.

"We can't. They'll track us wherever we go." Even's voice, even now as heart carrier, still sounds cocky and challenging. Could he feel the same fear that I carry in my heart now? "The Organization's missions are vast. Who knows how many worlds they've visited now…"

"We can't just sit here…" Aeleus sounds nervous and I can imagine him touching the stone walls or perhaps a wooden desk… anything of the Earth's bosom. I'm sure if he could, he'd probably be outside licking a rock or maybe humping his way up a tree.

"We'd be better staying here in our own turf." There's the sound of wood splintering and I sit up slowly in bed, clutching the sheets shakily, scarcely breathing. They can't fight… not when we are all we have. "I know you're upset, Aeleus. But here we know the best places to hide and where to find defenses."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Aeleus growls, raising his voice far louder than it's been in years. "You don't think that Xehanort… that Xemnas remembers this place? You don't think he comes here to play!"

Limping my way across the room, my hand rests against the door for a moment, shaking weakly before summoning the strength to push it open. "Don't fight."

"Ienzo," mutters Aeleus. His eyes reflect worry, anger dimming deep into the irises. Reaching out his hand, he moves over to me, running his hand through my hair and I lean tiredly into the touch. Of course he would know where not to touch me. Because Aeleus…

"We can't fight like this," I mumble tiredly, closing my eyes and entering a familiar world of warmth and darkness. My body sways slightly and I can feel Aeleus' touch landing carefully against my arm, just below what I could only guess to be a nasty bruise.

"You need to go back to bed," Even tells me and I can hear his footsteps moving closer to me, passing behind me, the breeze created by his movement petting through my hair. "At least for a few more days… you're not well enough."

Opening my eyes, they land on Even with the same scowl I carried as a nobody, muttering, "My body may be broken but my mind still works, Even. Do you really have such little faith?"

Recoiling, the man scowls, muttering, "That's not what I meant."

Aeleus continues to hold me, even after my swaying halts and I look towards him, fear striking my heart over and over but determined. "I won't let them come here…"

"How do you suggest that?" Even scoffs, waving his hand through the air as if this topic was far too long over drawn.

"Axel's only thinking about himself. He won't have told the Superior about his discovery yet."

"Ienzo," warns Aeleus sternly, his eyes narrowing darkly. It doesn't matter to me whether I have his approval or not. It was my fault that Axel caught us and I won't let him take the downfall.

"I'm going to talk to Axel. Try to reason with him."

"Reason with a heartless psychopath?" Even laughs provocatively. "You can't reason with a beast."

"I still have to try!" I yell at him, causing him to stop, watching me. Hesitating, I raise my hand to my throat, looking towards the ground. How long has it been since I've raised my voice so high? Has it ever even happened?

"Ienzo," sighs Aeleus, bringing his hand to his forehead, rubbing lightly. "Don't do this… you know better than this. You know nothing good will come of this."

"You don't know that, Aeleus."

"I DO know this, Ienzo!"

Drawing back, I stare at him, seeing the angry creases in his face, the brighter eye color and his fingers curled into his palms in frustration. He looked like he wanted to hit me… Taking another step back, I can see he realizes what he's done. It doesn't matter though.

"Ienzo… I…" Reaching out, he watches me quietly, whispering, "I just want to protect you."

"I don't need your protection," I scowl angrily, whipping my arm in front of me and knocking his hand to the side. Ouch…

"Ienzo… you're being over-emotional," warns Even, his eyes judging me.

"I'm the only one who's come up with a solution!" I bark, backing away from them and towards the exit.

Growling, Aeleus is quick to grab my arm again, this time applying vast pressure to one of the bruises, causing me to cripple in pain, gasping and shivering. My other hand raises, clawing into his arm, glaring up and trying to get away from his grip.

"Stop being stupid, Ienzo. You've already created enough trouble, so cut it out."

Dragging me back to my room, I see Even look away, obviously not bothered in the least by my treatment. He continues before setting me down forcefully on my bed, his eyes dark and dangerous, something I had never seen before.

"Stay here and don't come out."

And without a chance to argue back, the door slams shut, locking from the outside and leaving me again in the darkness. Why won't they listen to me? As a nobody, they revered me to be a silent genius. Did they think that my brain took its leave the same day that my power vanished? Did it?

Leaning back against my bedpost, I close my eyes, trying to think again. Maybe I did lose a part of my brain in the change. I can't remember pre-organization… who's to say that I can remember the fundamentals of logic. What if I'm not better than those mindless beings who wander the streets aimlessly, day after day with no real purpose in life?

"Why can't I remember?" I mutter tiredly, leaning back with only enough will to flip on the light switch, eyes moving around the room quietly. So many books… did I actually read all of these? Standing up slowly, I move over towards the bookcase, hardly any recollection of which ones I had previously read coming to mind. Picking up the most interesting book, I stare at the cover for a few minutes, admiring the delicate golden-laced design. Now to see if the words within have the same carefully and preciously chosen attention.

Flipping the cover open, the first word begins with the letter A, large and intricately designed, lacing and swooping in the top left corner. Why give some much attention to one letter rather than to the entire sentence. And just as I had figured, the first sentence matched the cover perfectly. "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool."

They were fools... for not listening to me...

Setting the book down on my bed to change clothes, I stare at myself in the mirror for a moment, horrified by what stares back at me. It looked as if I had been sitting in the sun too long... no not even the sun could create such dark, crisp burns. I was in the oven... black, rotting skin patched against my body in the shape of hands... all over. Shivering in disgust, I look away, closing my yes, never wanting to see that again.

I change into a different nightgown, figuring that I may as well be comfy and far too tired to make it all the way to the shower. Moving back towards my bed, I notice a bent page and opening the book to that page, a picture slides out.

Staring at it silently, I see two boys, one with flaming red hair and the other with a soft blue. The red head stares through the picture, his smile wide and cheezy, arm wrapped around his friends neck. And I know him… But how could I know him….

"His name is…" Every memory that has returned to me… all of them began as soon as I saw him again… and they have all been about him…. "Lea…"

"You called?"


	6. Memories

**Title: The Heart's True Essence**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. **

**Summary: Zexion's discovers feelings he forgot a long time ago... Yaoi. Lemon. Aeleus x Ienzo, later AkuRoku**

**A/N: ^ ^ Hi! I just wanted to thank Nacht Schleier, Axel-LeaVIII and FroggieCool. Thank you so much for reviewing! Seeing reviews really makes me feel like this fanfiction is worth writing and is pleasing the readers! And also thank you to Guggi, Nacht Schleier, Axel-LeaVIII and FroggieCool for adding this story to your favourites! I really hope that this fanfiction will continue to rank as one of your favourites and that you won't be disapointed! And also thank you to Lil-Yul, LuluChan126, Axel-LeaVIII, FroggieCool and Nacht Schleier for adding this to your alert list. :D It really keeps me on my toes and motivated to keep bringing these chapters out as timely as possible! Through all of your support, you make this possible! :D Thank you again! I won't disapoint! ^ ^**

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><p><strong>xxx<strong>

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><p>"You said so yourself," I mutter, narrowing my eyes and turning towards where the fiery red head stands in the corner. "Lea is gone and Axel's not going anywhere…"<p>

Axel laughs, leaning over and touching his chest. "Aww you hurt my feelings." What a cocky bastard…

"Save it," I bark, swiping my hand again and remembering for the second time today that it's broken. Biting my lip, I hiss in pain and shivering lightly. "Why did you come here?"

"You're curiosity drew me close," Axel smirks, beginning to move towards me. I flinch before I can even think, taking a step back from the predator. "You haven't noticed yet?"

Watching him carefully, my brow furrows. Noticed what? What could possibly stand out besides… "What do you have that's precious to me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he smirks, shrugging.

"Don't screw around with me!" I scream at him angrily, suddenly hearing the other two mutter something in curiosity. Rushing over, I do probably the stupidest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I lock the door, leaning against the wood and glaring at Axel dangerously.

Crossing his arms, Axel smirks at me, raising his eyebrow. "Oh really? Was it that good?"

"Shut up!" I growl angrily, shaking weakly. "Just tell me what's going on… tell me what you have that's precious to me!"

"Ienzo?" mutters Even from the other side of the door. "What are you doing?"

"It's nothing. Go away…" I mumble, glaring at Axel, warning him silently to be quiet.

"Ienzo… are you still upset?"

"No. I'm reading so just leave me alone!" This really must be the definition of stupid… I can hear him sigh in annoyance and move away and I wait for a moment before growling angrily at him. "Answer me, Axel…"

He moves towards me, putting his hands up. "What would you give to me?"

"Depends! Tell me what it is I'm bargaining for!" Why was he being so frustrating? My blood boils in pure anger, hair standing on end. Wouldn't it be so much less annoying just telling me what it is! "Does it have to do with how you've been the only one on my mind?"

He laughs, placing his hands on his hips. "I've been on your mind, Ienzo?"

Growling, I bark at him, "Stop this foolishness!"

He smirks, leaning back against the wall again. "I'm not sure if I like it when you open your mouth that much…"

Closing my eyes, I sigh out in annoyance. "Just please… tell me… why can I only remember things about you from my past? Do you… have my memories?"

Smirking, he holds up a finger, pointing it straight into the air and waving it around. "Bingo."

When would he have gotten a hold of those? It would have had to be sometime while I was in the organization… but I… I know I had remembered everything when I was there. Did he do it… the night that he killed me?

"See? I knew you were smart."

"Shut up…" I growl, looking down and muttering. "What is it that you want for my memories?"

Chuckling, he pulls away from the wall and once again, I back up but this time with nowhere to go. Hitting the door, I shiver, seeing him move closer and closer, each clack of his shoes echoing menacingly through the room. "All I want is your body."

"My body?" I repeat, furrowing my eye brows. Shaking my head, I mutter, "Even's been studying this for a long time now! There is no reason we can find to why we were chosen to live on. It'd be useless to waste your experiments on m-"

He hand slams against the frame, just inches from my face and I stare up at him, shivering weakly.

"I don't care about why you came back. All I want," he growls, taking my chin and staring down at me with the eyes of a hunter. "Is this."

Closing my eyes to try to forget about him being this close, the man who has no harmed me in every way imaginable, I mutter, "A body is worth a lot more than just memories…"

"Oh, Is that so?" I can hear him taunt, his voice unsettling and far too close, even as I drift away into the dark realm. "What is worthy of your body?"

Realizing I can't escape from him, I open my eyes again, looking up at him as if I were a child standing up to their worst fears. "Their safety… You cannot harm Even or Aeleus in anyway…"

He smirks, cocking his head softly. "It's not worth that much. Where am I going to find toys as fun as your little clan?"

"Axel." I warn sternly, shivering as I can feel his breath against my cheek with every syllable.

Moving even closer, the nobody's eyes are hungry and scheming and I look away towards his ear, wanting to never see them again. "Alright… You can have your memories and their safety, however, in return I get your body whenever I want, and it will be mine and no others. This means that you can never show love to Aeleus, or kindness to either of them. You can't share another word with them nor a glance. Not even a thought. Because you will belong to me fully. Every. Single. Piece."

Looking at him, I tremble, knowing how much they've done to save me. It seems awful, subjecting them to this sort of cold shoulder treatment… but they had been so much better off when I was a nobody. Silent and distant. They would be happy if I never showed my face and never bothered them. And they'd be safe from Axel…

"Okay," I whisper, daring not to look back into his eyes, afraid of what I'd see. "I accept your deal."

He smiles frighteningly, leaning down and I turn my head, his lips landing against my cheek and lingering there for a moment. My heart thuds heavily, all of the blood rushing to my head as my eyes widen and body freezes.

_The weather was so beautiful, the sun softer than normal and not a single cloud in the sky. I could feel the warmth radiating through the massive windows, the light kissing my cheeks warmly. Outside, some of the neighborhood kids played. I could see the youngest, the girl everyone called Kairi. She was wandering through the village, looking for perhaps that high school student… Squall. It was none of my business but why should a middle schooler get his attention? Scoffing, I scowl angrily, seeing Yuffie running up to her and stealing what looked like a flower before taking off, being chased away. _

_And then there were those two, Lea and Isa… how much more pathetic could they be? Always scheming to get into our castle… didn't they realize the gift that they had by not being trapped within these confining walls? I hated them, so incredibly much. Why should they all get to feel the sun while I'm kept indoors! Why can't I go out and play in the water or feel the grass? _

_"Ienzo?" _

_Realizing the look I must have been displaying, I wipe my face clean, turning towards the guard who watches me lightly. "You haven't tried escaping today?"_

_Staring down at the ground, I bite my lip, watching the others playing around again. He moves over, petting my back lightly. _

_"Don't tell me that you've given up already. You did really well last time. It took us a whole 7 minutes to get you back. I think it was a record."_

_7 minutes… is that really the longest I've ever been outside of these prison walls? Frowning, my head drops a bit more and I can see his smile falter from the corner of my eye._

_"Come with me," he says, reaching down to take my hand and I blush faintly, looking up at him, confused what it is he wants. "Trust me."_

_We begin to move out towards the back of the castle, away from my usual escape routes and I'm sure he's just going to take me to play a game or something. He's always standing outside and I'm sure it must be hot, especially in their uniform… but how lucky they were to have that time outside… _

_Reaching a foreign door, I stare up at it, seeing hundreds of words inscribed into the wood with deep, gold lacing. Just like my favourite book. How beautiful. I could just sit here and study the door all day long, tracing and memorizing every word. However, he begins to push the door open, light pouring into the hallway. I close my eyes, shielding them with my free had as we begin to move forward and I can feel it. The warmth against my face and the gentle breeze running through my hair. The sound of the birds chirping is no longer muffled and somewhere in the distance, I can hear running water._

_Pulling my hand away from my eyes, I blink a few times, adjusting to the light. I'm… I'm outside. Smiling, I look around, able to stay still and admire my surroundings for the first time, not afraid of having to run from Even or the guards. For now, I'm free like a bird! Smiling, I look towards Aeleus who smiles back at me, petting my hand lightly. _

_"Let's take a walk to my secret place," he offers and I nod, excited as we begin to move away from my gilded cage. _

**_((http : / www . youtube. Com / watch?v = ipFa5wKjNoM & feature = related 0:25-2:40))_**

_"Lucky bird inside a gilded cage," I sing softly, smiling and moving with Aeleus who continues to move with me, every movement kind and warm. "Golden words spoke by an ancient sage. Everything you may have in life… Still all you hold is dust."_

_We spent hours outside, basking in the sunlight, playing in the distant woods, running through the puddles and fountains. The sweet smell of the grasses… the feeling of the bark and the dirt… the heat of the sun and the running waters cool to the touch. We visit the town, hand in hand as I stop at every single shop, looking at the amazing little trinkets they have. _

_Smiling, I poke at a toy's head, seeing it bob playfully back and forth, the smile never vanishing from his face even as I continue to torment it with endless headaches. Looking down the row of toys, I see another one, facing the opposite direction with longer hair. Smiling, I move them closer, poking their heads before a magnet draws them together, locking their painted-on lips. _

_Blushing, I draw back, pretending that didn't happen and I can see Aeleus laugh, smiling warmly at me before telling me to wait here for a moment. Waiting until he's gone in the crowd, I smile, turning back towards the two, watching their kiss, their heads bouncing in unison now, one in the same. _How romantic_, I think, blushing faintly, poking playfully at their heads, seeing the connection never break._

_"Here," Aeleus smiles, handing me an ice cream and I grin happily, taking it in one hand and his hand in my other, moving with him to the shade softly. Sitting beneath a tree, we both smile and bask in the peaceful silence, occasionally shifting as the ice cream melts down our arms. _

_"Aeleus?" I mumble softly, looking at my stick happily. "Why does this say winner?"_

_Smiling, he pets my hair, shifting closer to look at it. "It means you won another ice cream."_

_Looking up at him brightly, I open my mouth before blushing and whispering, "would you… want to share it with me?"_

_He looks shocked for a moment, causing my heart beats to rise before that warm and comforting smile returns, leaning down and kissing my lips softly. My face heats up quickly, my ears burning and my lips tingling softly. His lips… their so sweet…_

_Pulling away lightly, I open my eyes again, staring into his as he rests his forehead against mine. "I would love to, Ienzo…" _

**((End music if it's still going))**

"Aeleus…" I shake weakly, hundreds of memories flying through my mind, torturing me. My heart wrenches in pain, tears pouring down my cheeks wildly, realizing my mistake. I love him… I love him so incredibly much. I'd give him my everything and now… now… "No!" I cry out, shaking and collapsing to the ground, clawing into my hair, my entire body convulsing, the blood speeding through me. I… I'm the worst… what have I done?

And from the corner, I can feel Axel's eyes, basking in my pain…


	7. Hidden

**Title: The Heart's True Essence**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. **

**Summary: Zexion's discovers feelings he forgot a long time ago... Yaoi. Lemon. Aeleus x Ienzo, later AkuRoku**

**A/N: lol! My sister's gonna try to stick her friend on scare tactics!**

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><p><strong>xxx<strong>

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><p>I woke up again but this time hollow and empty. It felt like there was this large cavern and my bones and flesh surrounded it and that was all that made me up. I'd never felt so… sick before. Shifting in my bed, the burns didn't ache so much as my sore muscles did. The worst pain was in my chest; the pain of finally knowing the man I've loved all along and his love for me. What a sick twist of irony for now that I finally understand, there's not a thing I can do about it.<p>

"Ienzo," comes Even's voice from the other side of my door and I obey orders sickly, not acknowledging it nor even turning my gaze towards where the sound comes from. Somewhere in the distance I can hear his voice telling me to come out for breakfast. I can't. It would be acknowledging them and I can't afford their safety for a bowl of cereal. He tries again and I allow my mind to wander, staring towards the stacked ceiling, the peak raising higher and higher as all four corners meet in the center.

Standing slowly, I move to the bookcase next to the bathroom, sticking a small rope I kept stored on top between the two shelves and twisting it until the other end pops out again for me to grab it. Taking both ends, I can feel some sort of bar the rope has surrounded and I pull down, causing a reaction as the sound of a lock undoing itself sounds softly. The shelf releases itself, swinging towards me on a hinge. Behind the shelf is a small tunnel, one I had used almost daily to avoid contact when I was a child.

Climbing into it, it's a lot tighter than I recall and I struggle to turn around again to close the latch, securing the shelf in place. I could keep following the tunnel but I'd end up out in town and that could be even worse than where I am now. Dark… secluded… empty. Just like me. This tunnel is me, alone, hollow and secretive. Laying down, I rest against the ground, closing my eyes. Here is where I can stay until they finally give up looking for me. So I sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Even<strong>

He's pacing again… and it's really getting annoying. "Aeleus, your movements astound me." He looks towards me, confused but worry overtaking his every expression. "They're absolutely useless and yet you keep doing it."

"What if he doesn't come out?" he growls stopping, his fists clenching.

"Then we'll simply have to unlock his door and bring him out," I reply as if it's a fact of life. It really is. "Besides, regardless of whom you are, whether you're the most outgoing fool on the streets or secluded and introverted like our prince, loneliness is not kind to those it accompanies."

It hasn't calmed him down as he begins his pacing again. I can't do my work here, not with the earth shaking beneath each over-dramatized footstep. "I'm going." I announce.

He looks at me, confused and perhaps it's that he too doesn't want to be alone. "Why?"

"Because," I snap, throwing my hand into the air. "You're annoying me." And with that, I retreat into the basement laboratories, continuing to try to puzzle together what made us three special enough to return. Could it have been the magic of the castle? Ansem's… the real Ansem's wishes for us? It makes no sense to me, so I'll simply have to experiment and this time, avoid unnecessary explosions.

* * *

><p><strong>Aeleus<strong>

I don't understand. He shouldn't be this upset with me. I was only trying to protect him. Why did he over react and why can't he understand why he can't leave this place? It's always been this way, since the first day he came to the castle. For one reason or another, the boy has had to stay within these walls.

He had always been clever though, knowing exactly how to slip past us. Why was he always so attached to the concept of death? When he was a child, there were numerous people after him. This was confirmed after the unfortunate death of his parents, an act of murder he would later erase from his mind. Cousin of the princess, Kairi, he would face a lot of danger from those who felt he was far less deserving than his light-hearted relative.

And even now, long after all have forgotten about his birthright, he still tries to escape to where the Organization roams free, unfeeling and monsterish. They would kill him without a single hesitation or if not that, take him back for experimenting. Why can't he just live a normal life like the rest of us had been given!

Slamming my fist into the wall, I watch the surface crack, webbing out from the point of impact. I didn't mean to cause that much damage… I was just venting… but what if I had been too hard with Ienzo too? Thinking back to last night, I can see his face and the fear in his eyes. He was upset and I had only been trying to help. But like the wall, perhaps I tried too hard.

I move out of the room quickly, heading towards Ienzo's hastily. Pounding on the door, this time with far less pressure, I call out his name, praying for a response. None… What if?

"I'm coming in!" I warn, taking a step back before throwing my full weight into the wood, hearing it splinter before giving in and swinging wildly open. It's empty…

"Ienzo!"

* * *

><p><strong>Ienzo<strong>

I'm not sure how long I had slept again, but I'm tired… perhaps from too much sleep. I just don't want to move anymore. I just want to stay here and sleep for the rest of all eternity. However, my stomach growls heavily and whimpering, I cling to it lightly. Sitting up and crouched over, I crawl back towards the exit, releasing the latch and swinging the case open. My room is empty but my door is practically shattered. What the hell happened?

Sliding out, I close the case again, relieved to know that regardless of how long it's been, my secret spot remained hidden. I move into the kitchen quietly, looking around and seeing nothing but the time. 10:13 PM. Smiling weakly to myself, I open the fridge, hunting for anything I can eat without making a mess or a single noise. Pulling out sandwich makings, I line up all of the ingredients on the counter, laying down a paper towel and placing the bread on it.

I'm about halfway done making my sandwich, spreading the mustard with my finger when suddenly, _he_ walks into the kitchen. Aeleus' eyes are soft and his face his flushed as if he had been running everywhere. I look away from him, staring down at the bread that I can't bring myself to finish prepping.

"Ienzo… we've been looking everywhere for you," Aeleus sighs in relief, making his way towards me. I close my eyes, trying to ignore his existence, even as I can feel it coming closer and closer. "I've been so worried about you."

I don't respond, trying to block everything, turning into a statue until I'm sure he's gone again. How long could anyone put up with being ignored? However, I jump, feeling his hand wrap around my wrist and looking down, I try to pull away to no avail.

"You should use a knife or spoon for something as messy as this," he smiles weakly, cleaning my finger with a clean dish towel and I can't help but blush and scowl, trying so hard not to react to a single thing he does. "It's far too messy for someone as special as you, Ienzo."

_Stop it…_

After my finger is clean, he lets me go again, watching me and I decide I have to get out of there. Closing my sandwich, I'm quick to make my way out of the kitchen, my heart quaking in pain, wanting nothing more than to remain by his side.

"Have you decided to stop singing again?" he asks me from behind and I can feel his eyes on me. They're neither angry nor aggressive and neither is his tone. "I miss hearing your voice, Ienzo."

_It doesn't matter… In order to protect you, I must stay silent and not interfere in your life. _

"Are you angry with me?" He asks and before I can react, his arms are wrapped around me, causing me to cringe in shame and fear. "Is it because I was too hard on you last night? I'm so sorry, Ienzo… I didn't mean to hurt you. I… I was just so worried about you and I wanted to protect you. Please forgive me."

_Please forgive him? He has done nothing wrong… it's me who's committing the sin. I'm the one creating the pain that lingers around this castle now. _

Shivering, I can feel my eyes burning, tears beginning to pour down my cheeks and against his arms. No… he can't feel this way… not about me… Tearing my way out of his grasp, I bolt towards my room, slamming the door that won't close fully as shut as it will go. _Don't come near me… Don't hurt yourself anymore…_

I'm so hungry… why didn't I keep a better grip on that sandwich? All of the guilt had subsided over the last 5 hours, replaced with hunger. How long has it been since I ate? At least a day and a half if not two? Clutching at my stomach, I decide that I can eat as soon as I finish what I know I have to do. Crawling out of bed dizzily, I begin to make my way towards the door, pulling it open and what I see makes me crumble in on myself.

A small plate with a wrapped sandwich and some chips sit next to my door, a little sign saying 'Please eat' written in his handwriting on top of the can of soda. He… he made this for me… I watch the food for a few minutes, just blinking and choking on my own guilt. If only I could be better for him… if only I was stronger for him… if only I was… I'm so hungry!

Reaching down, it's almost like a daze, me shoveling down the food in what seems like seconds. And the moment that daze is over, I'm back to guilt, thinking about how I shouldn't have wasted his food like that. He probably would have been better off eating it himself. And he probably put a lot of time and effort into picking out what to put between the bread. I'm the worst.

Another two hours pass before I'm finally able to get myself up, struggling to make it to Aeleus' room. I know what I have to do… I have to tap back into the powers of darkness and rewrite his memories. I have to make it so that he thinks of me as just an annoying prat who lives alone and never talks to anyone. That ways he'll never have to worry about me or go out of his way for me again. And then right after that, I could do the same with Even. Kill two birds with one stone.

Stumbling my way to his room, I push the door open quietly, staring at his sleeping form. The sun isn't up yet but it's strangely light in this night-covered room. Using everything I can for support, my mind screams against me, begging my body not to do this. But I have no choice. It must be done. I move to his bed, lifting myself onto it carefully as to not alert him in anyway.

I sit on his hips, staring down at his sleeping face and blush. He's so beautiful and so amazing, even when he rests. No… I can't feel that way. Closing my eyes tight, I begin to cry again, begging the darkness within me to give me the strength to do what I know is right.

"Ienzo?" I open my eyes in shock, staring down at the man who's now woken up, placing his hands on my own hips lightly. "What are you doing?"

Shaking my head, I whisper hoarsely. "I'm no good for you."

He frowns, petting up to my cheek and taking it lightly. It's so warm. "Ienzo… you don't have to be perfect." I shiver, staring down at him, leaning into the warmth lightly. "Because the way you are is just right."

"Aeleus… i…"

Leaning up, he kisses me gently and I practically melt into the touch, my everything spinning in bliss. I return the kiss naturally, everything about this moment feeling right. His hands drop to my shirt, beginning to undo the buttons and I follow, fumbling with his night shirt, never breaking the contact between us. Shouldering off my dress shirt, I stare at him softly and blush, smiling lightly.

"I love you, Ienzo," he whispers, kissing my throat gently and I blush even brighter, clinging to him softly.

"I love you too."


	8. Freedom in Shackles

**Title: The Heart's True Essence**

**Disclaimer: Investing in KH stock would probably be a great adventure X3**

**Summary: Zexion is Rapunzel apparently. Everyone sticks him somewhere and says 'don't come out!'**

**A/N: Thank you for waiting! I went to Disney World for the holiday and It was so much fun! :D I got to see my family and my sister came down for a week! It was so much fun! ._. but now I'm so lonely again. ~cry~**

* * *

><p><strong>xxx<strong>

* * *

><p>His lips are soft despite his rough appearance, lingering against my forehead. With halved eyes, I feel warmth inside as I raise my hands to his arms, holding them lightly and lovingly. His touch sends gentle waves through me, my heart fluttering happily and it doesn't end as he continues to rest there for a moment before digging his face into my hair.<p>

"I love you, Ienzo." He whispers and I can feel his hot breath that sends shivers down my spine.

"I love you too, Aeleus," I reply back lightly, arms falling to my sides and body basking in the warmth of his presence.

He pulls away, smiling down at me and encases my cheek in his massive hand. Leaning into the palm, my eyes close and lips smile, feeling perfect.

"I'm still uneasy about this," Even mentions, stepping into the room with an unusually long piece of paper. He fiddles with it, crossing his free arm against his chest.

"We have to make it a one shot trip," I mutter, looking at him. "Now that Sora's awake again and has been visiting the castle we can't afford to leave it as much."

"And why shouldn't one of us go out there instead?" Even mutters while staring at the list that's longer than his arm.

"Because," I frown. "Sora's more likely to recognize you, Even and Leon and the others know Aeleus since he was always standing outside to the very end."

Aeleus shifts nervously, muttering, "What of Axel? What if he finds you again?"

"I can handle it," I reply, staring down at the ground. The truth was that I had no clue what would happen should he return. He should have learned by now that he could never win me because even with my word, I still couldn't keep myself from loving and being with Aeleus. Perhaps he would give up… and if not that... I could fight… maybe. But maybe he wouldn't know about me and Aeleus since he hasn't been back in weeks.

Leaving, I wave back at them, sneaking past where Leon and the others are, wondering what it would be like if we had never been born as nobodies. Would I be the Key bearer's ally? Or would darkness still find its way into my heart?

Making my way outside, I can feel the warmth and realize that this is the first time ever in my life that I am free to wander on my own. No guards chasing me. No restrictions for when I have to be back. No hiding and no running! I can finally do what I want to do!

Taking off at almost a dead sprint, I make my way through the crowds, heading towards the market place. People don't look twice at me nor mutter among themselves as I pass. I'm fitting in! I really am just like every single one of them!

"Must be nice." Skidding to a halt, I turn to look towards one of the fountains pouring from the wall and into the cornerstone of flowers. He smirks, uncrossing his arms and practically throwing one above him, letting it fall to his side. "Here I thought that Axel was pulling my leg."

"Demyx…" I mutter, staring at him. His eyes glint with a danger only I can sense. How many people did he actually let see his darker half…

Taking a step forward, the area became seemingly darker, the chattering of the locals dimming down to nothing as they all vanish to wherever they wanted to go. He brushes his gloved fingers against that distinguished hair of his, tilting his chin up. "So you really do have a heart now?"

"Yes," I answer him, taking a step back. "Maybe you'll get one when Sora gets through with you."

Chuckling, he's suddenly before me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me close to him. I use my free hand to smash it into his face but he's too quick, snatching it and combining it with my other arm. "Now now now. That wasn't a very nice thing to say at all now, was it?" Dangling, I realize just how pathetic and weak I really am. Why would my power not come to me now? Now of all times when I really need it? Why do I keep getting betrayed?

"Is that a tear?" Demyx chuckles, his free hand moving to my cheek and finger scooping up the moisture I hadn't noticed until now. "How do I get more of these?"

"They're not for you," I mutter, dropping my head and staring at the ground. They weren't… why waste such pure and precious emotions on one who can't feel. "They're for Aeleus…"

Chuckling, he pulls me closer. "And what do you think you can possibly do for him in this situation? You're pathetic."

He's right. I have always needed saving and I have always been so much trouble for the others. But those days are over because I just can't take that anymore. I can't keep running away from my problems and I can't always rely on others to save me. I lift my head, staring into Demyx's face who chuckles, replying with 'what a scary face'. However, before he can even finish his sentence, I'm using all of my strength to lift my body up, smashing my foot into his face with any force I can.

I can feel a sickening crunch beneath the soles of my shoes and shudder at the sound. Dropping me, the blonde's hands race to his nose, practically screaming, "My face! What have you done to my beautiful face!"

Scampering to my feet, I bolt away from where he is, leaving him to writhe in pain and agony and hearing his cries echoing against the walls. My lungs burn and heart aches and I continue my mad dash as far away as possible from where I could only imagine he had fled from.

My self awarded victory is short lived however, an explosion sounding somewhere close by. What in the world was going on? Heart freezing, I ponder the idea. What if it is the Organization's attempt to completely control this town? Rushing to the scene to investigate, I find the perpetrators down the old waterway in a fenced in oval surrounded by buildings.

Xaldin's face is twisted in hatred and jealousy, wind whipping around him ferociously. His weapons are dug into cloth and stone, pinning his victim to the ground. My heart jumps painfully, recognizing Aeleus struggling to get back to his feet. Even's screaming across the battle ground to Axel who watches the fight with little to no interest.

"It truly isn't fair, Xaldin," Axel croons, muttering, "He left you behind… went off and got back his heart and left you to suffer this emotionless life."

Growling, Xaldin smashes another of his weapons down, this time hitting flesh as Aeleus shrieks in searing pain, blood pouring from his open wound.

"Aeleus!" I cry out, rushing forward. Even's quick to step in front of me though, preventing me from moving any further.

"Good news!" Axel smirks, an arm across his chest, palm up. His elbow rests against his palm, a single finger prodding idly at the skies above. "I'm taking the boy off your hands!"

"Have you lost all of your humanity!" cries out Even, whipping out his arms. How the hell could Axel be talking deals with such pain occurring only steps away from him! I keep trying to push past him but he won't let me get any closer to the scene. "Have you forgotten compassion!"

Smirking, Axel begins to move towards us. "Hearts create weakness."

Another shriek fills the area, one of the sharpened weapons slicing with ease through his shoulder, splintering the bone with no effort. Aeleus wails in pain, his entire body shaking dangerously and I feel sick to my stomach, only able to watch as the torture continues. _Stop it… please…_

"Stop it!" I shriek, pushing myself against Even as much as possible before he finally collapses under the pressure. Rushing towards Aeleus, I cover his chest with my body, glaring up towards Axel dangerously. "Don't hurt him anymore! Please! Call this off!"

Xaldin steps back angrily, the blood having begun to pool around his feet. Axel's smirk never falters, replying with, "Well isn't this such a big request?"

"Please!" I beg, watching him desperately. "I'll be completely yours. With no ties! I swear! Just don't hurt them anymore!"

Raising an eye brow, that finger bounces several times before him as if he were reading a book. "We've already made that deal and if I recall right, you broke it."

Shaking my head I reply quickly, "there were loopholes! By ignoring them, it was hurting them!"

Chuckling, Axel only replies with, "Loopholes, eh?"

Fire ignites around us and I shiver, clinging more to Aeleus who's losing way too much blood at this rate.

"Please! I'm begging you, Axel." I shudder. "Just leave them alone! I'll do anything you want!"

He begins to move towards me, stopping just inches from the bath of blood. "Then you will come with me to headquarters and will never leave there ever again."

Shuddering, I look up at him, not even hesitating to agree. Anything to save Aeleus, regardless of how painful it may be.

"Ienzo," he coughs weakly, lifting a shaking hand to my cheek. "Please don't."

"I love you," I mutter, looking down at him lightly, adding, "You'll be better now… I promise."

"Ienzo! Don't!" screams Even.

However, I can't hesitate anymore. I have been granted for the first time in my life the chance to make my own choices. I left the castle today with that freedom and I intend to carry it close for the rest of my life, even if the choices I make are ones I'll regret for all eternity.

Taking Axel's sleeve, I stare down at the ground for a moment before feeling everything change, surrounded by nothing but white once again. Feeling Axel's hand wrap around my wrist, I don't look up, knowing that I will never see the flowers again or hear the water. The touch of the sun would become a distant memory and although I've now lost every chance at happiness, I will never regret my decision to save the one I love.

"Let's go."

...

"Okay…"


	9. Shattered Hearts and Informal Goodbyes

**Title: The Heart's True Essence**

**Disclaimer: HURRY AND COME OUT WITH KH3D! Oh ... I mean. I don't own these characters or much of anyhting. just my imagination =w=**

**Summary: I forgot what the summary to this fanfic was v_v. **

**A/N: Thank you for the long waiiiittt! This is the last official chapter for this fanfiction. There is an epilouge I made for those people who may be upset with the ending... I apologize! Forgive meeeeee D: !**

* * *

><p><strong>xxx<strong>

* * *

><p>The hallways have always bothered me to some extent. No matter where I was, whether in Castle Oblivion or the World that Never Was, the walls were always white. I never understood why until now. It seems to me that a nobody can not feel emotion and if emotions were described as colors, then a nobody would be a blank canvas. So what better way to represent what a nobody is than empty walls?<p>

"You know," Axel mutters as he leads me down the hallway quietly. "I'm not a big fan of your hair. It clashes with mine, you know?" His tone is playful, his eyes wandering the hallways without hesitation and he mumbles almost inaudibly, "We're going to have to change that."

"If you don't like it, then why would you fight so hard to get me?" I mumble as if the answer wouldn't really matter. However, his response scares me more than anything I've ever heard before.

"It's not _you_ that I wanted." His thin lips are curved upwards, tight and frightening. "But don't worry… everything will be clear soon enough."

What is he talking about! My mind reels with possibilities. Maybe he just wanted a good fuck. Or maybe he's just so overridden with guilt? Or maybe he's finally snapped. Thousands of ideas rush through my mind and after what feels like an eternity of walking, I find myself at a door I had never once been through but knew everything about. But when had we ended up here in Castle Oblivion? And when the hell did they finally find this place?

"Go in," he orders, his smile fading into nothing and nervously, I open the door to the Chamber of Waking, a room that had only been a myth when I still lived without a heart. Lived without a heart…. What a joke. What is living if you can't feel anything nor truly understand your surroundings? I wasn't living.

Stepping in, the room is bright, the crest of the Keyblade master etched into the walls and glowing faintly. Everything ranges from a light silver to a blinding white. Chains dive from the tips of the hearts, all meeting near the center of the room. And there, a single towering chair rests before us, a familiar boy limply sitting in it, the only source of color in the entire room.

His hair is a dark blonde, spiked up to the side. His clothing is red, black and white, checkered and some sort of protective plate rests against his left shoulder. His eyes are closed and he doesn't seem to be breathing.

"Roxas?" I ask quietly, moving towards the body. Axel's rough hand clenches my shoulder and I flinch in discomfort, stopping to keep him from repeating the same painful gesture.

"That's right," he mutters lowly. "Sora locked him up by awakening… and now he can't use this body anymore."

Furrowing my eyes brows, my eyes are locked onto the blonde boy in confusion. No… that wouldn't make any sense. None of the evidence or research points to this possibility. If Roxas was Sora's nobody, then a shell wouldn't have been left behind.

"You're wrong, Axel." I shiver, shifting my eyes to meet his, raw emotion digging itself into my voice. "That can't be Roxas. He'd be w-"

"THAT IS ROXAS! I SEE HIM! I KNOW IT'S ROXAS!" His voice echoes off the walls and in a swift move, I'm against one of them, gasping for breath that doesn't seem to want to come. Axel's eyes become monster-like and filled with anger, the green irises venomously vibrant. His back hunches over and fingers twitch as if trying to grasp the air. He looks miserable and his movements mimic one who wallows in the seas of desperation.

"Axel! When a nobody… and its heartless…. are destroyed… there's only one body!" I try to explain between heavy gasps. "I saw Sora!… He's at the castle… this can't be Roxas!"

"DON'T FUCK WITH ME!" He screams, moving towards me and I cower, falling to the ground and curling into a tight ball for protection. "You can't escape your contract so stop trying to mess with my head! You will never leave here again! You will never see him again! Don't you get it!"

"I'm not trying t-" I can feel his boot dig deep into my ribs and shriek in pain, my ears filled with white noise. The pain spreads wildly and quickly through me and I shake, begging silently that no more comes.

"You really piss me off!" He growls angrily, his hand clamping into my hair and lifting me from the ground with ease. I whimper, clawing at his glove desperately as he drags me across the room, throwing me before the body that just watches blindly. "You little fuck. You had so much and instead you waste your time doing nothing!" He leans down, lifting my head and forcing me to stare up at the blonde. His face is practically crushed into my hair and ear as he hisses deeply and angrily, "If you were half the man Roxas was then I wouldn't have hated you as much."

The tears burn as they rush down my face, earning me a forceful, 'Don't cry!'. But I can't help it, my heart overwhelming and my fear too great. What did I do to deserve this!

"What do you want with me?" I shake, voice quivering and hoarse, trying so hard to get the tears to stop rolling, my body thrumming in numb pain.

"Isn't it obvious yet?" he growls, his eyes glinting ferociously. He drops me and I cave into myself again, so scared. What the hell could he possibly be thinking of?

Eyes halving weakly, I can see him sliding around to the sleeping boy, wrapping his arms around him and kissing his ear with a softness he's never shown anyone else. "Don't worry Roxas… you'll be free soon."

That can't be Roxas… it goes against everything we've studied… and he just… he doesn't look like roxas… he looks like…

_"Run!" _

That's right… that was his voice… it sounded so familiar… but so distant. Like a far off memory.

_"We've done our best to raise the poor boy… since his parents aren't here to do it." Even's voice always seemed so cold, just like my frozen heart. _

_The other boy's voice is warmer, replying. "Oh. You're on your own too, huh?" _

_Everything about him radiates light from his hair to his clothes and even his expression. Something about this boy seems likeable and I'd imagine he has lots of friends. He seems to have a very likeable soul… something that will attract anyone… and that boy…_

"That's not Roxas," I whisper quietly, shaking. "I've seen him before… it's not-"

"SHUT UP IENZO!" Axel screams again, abandoning the body and moving over towards me again. I begin to crawl away desperately, hearing his pained cries. "That's Roxas! I know it is!"

His hands pierce down my wrists and I stare up at him, stunned at his reaction. He may not feel it… but it is clear…. He's in love with Roxas… and having lost him is probably killing him deep inside.

"Axel." I shiver quietly, watching him.

"Just shut up already!" He growls, smashing my wrists down again and I gasp in pain, noticing that he's not doing anything hard enough to cripple my body. But why? "This is your final end, Ienzo!"

Shivering, I can only stare at him, seeing all the symptoms of pain coursing through him. I can see fear deep in his eyes and on his lips. I can see desperation in his brow and feel it through his fingers. He might not feel it… but it's there and it's clear.

"Roxas!" He cries out, staring at the body. "Please! Find my voice! Follow it to this vessel."

Vessel? What the hell. "Roxas is with Sora, Axel! He can't leave!"

His glare alone would make kittens scatter. It sends shivers down my spine as I watch this helpless nobody screaming and crying out for Roxas to come to him and find him. I can feel his hands quake and hear his voice becoming hoarse. And I wonder if he even knows that he's crying.

"Roxas!" he screams desperately, his grasp on me tightening. "Roxas! I found you a new body! I made sure it'd be perfect! So please!"

All of the attention that had been placed on me was simply for this moment. It all makes sense now. Roxas is gone, Axel is miserable and I'm still just a tool.

"Please!" He begs, a shudder running up his back. All is silent except his sobs which continue to echo against the walls, over and over again. Finally, silence settles again and I watch this man's heart crumble. He's so confused. This couldn't have been what he had planned. He's so embarrassed. This isn't how it should have been. He's so angry. Completely ignored. Everything was wrong.

Finally, he utters a single, broken word. "Why?"

Staring at him nervously, the blood has stopped running into my arms, leaving my finger tips numb. "Because Roxas is gone, just like Zexion."

His body freezes over, eyes widening and staring at the body that has refused to interact with us this entire time. "But he's…"

"That's not Roxas," I mutter. "Roxas is gone."

"NO!" his hand whips against me and I roll onto my stomach to protect my face, hearing weak footsteps begin to move away from me, slow and dragging. His body collapses again, this time pressed up against the chair. Peeking up, I can see his deranged form grasping to the Roxas doppelganger, begging desperately. "Please… You're there right? We're friends, right? Best friends… "

He's lost it…

Crawling to my knees, I stand slowly, moving to back away, trying to go unnoticed. What would it feel like to see the one you love, lost and gone forever? Shaking, I realize that I went through that pain the moment I signed this devil's contract. And I can see that same pain in him. But… to a nobody… this must feel like nothingness.

His canvas was coated in paint… but beneath it all, it's still just white.

His heavy sobs continue to ring though the hall as I sprint from the scene, eyes squeezed shut, tears pouring from my own heart. Why am I crying? How can I feel anything for that monster? His horrified scream penetrates my soul as I can't help but feel compassion and sorrow for this creature that will never realize the emotions that have been tearing into him this whole time.

Running outside, there is only a single path and I don't hesitate, rushing towards it desperately, too scared to turn back now. It didn't really matter though. I couldn't leave this world and nobody would ever find me again. I would forever be walking this dirt road and wondering what life could be.

So many memories have flooded my heart. All of the joy and sorrow and pain. All of the experiences and lack there of. Those lazy days and those exciting moments. Now they would all be over… but at least I could still cherish them forever...

…

I can't keep running. I can't even jog or speed walk. There's not enough air and I'm not strong enough. So I'll walk.

…

It feels like it's been hours…. But I don't even know where I am anymore…. Maybe I should have stayed put. I could always turn around I suppose. But what if the end lies just ahead?

…

That's it. There's no ending to this path. This is hell and I'm stuck in it. Sitting, I breathe out tiredly. So hungry. So thirsty. So exhausted. If this is all that life has to offer me now, then why go on. My memories will only fade and I can't find any sort of relief.

Crawling to the edge, I watch the sand and dirt fall into what seems like everlasting darkness. It would be a long drop, I'd imagine. But at the same time, quick. If life sought to toy with me and offer me nothing, then I would just have to control my own fate. I will be the one to make the decision and nobody can decide for me nor stop me.

My eyes half, thinking about him, wanting the memories of the time we spent together to be the one to stay with me through it all, after life or no. I can see his chiseled features, feel his brute yet gentle strength and hear his soft, warm voice. Aeleus… I'm so sorry for what I'm about to do.

I stand, extending my arms out to either side and close my eyes. There's no wind, no sound… just nothingness. And leaning forward, I begin to fall. The dropping feeling in my stomach is sickening, my jaw tightening and eyes squeezing shut desperately. My ears seem to clamp up and my fists ball up. I'm scared… but it's too late to turn back now, the air whipping against my face and through my hair.

And then, as quickly as it all came, it's over. The only pain is in my arm and shivering, I can feel a tight clasp around my wrist. What the…?

"Ienzo…?"

Scared, I open my eyes slowly, looking up at the hand that had caught my wrist, stopping me. Not too far above me, his eyes are concerned and nervous, red from exhaustion. His face seems tired and his hair's a mess.

"Aeleus…?" I mutter quietly, staring up towards him, my heart jumping almost painfully. How could he be here…. How would he have even been able to find me? I can see the gummy vessel he's on… but it just doesn't make sense. He can't be here… Unless this was heaven and I've reached the end.

He pulls me up carefully, sitting me on his lap and hugs me close. "I'm so sorry, Ienzo… I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."

Save me…? Heh. So I really did die. Looking down at my knees, I reply softly, "But we're together now, right? And we'll be that way for all eternity."

"For the rest of our lives," He promises, pulling me close and hugging me tightly.

* * *

><p><strong>Even<strong>

* * *

><p>"How's he doing?" Aeleus mutters quietly. His large hands are intertwined and he's hunched over in the chair, leg bouncing and causing the entire table to shift and creek. It's hard to concentrate with how much this one moves.<p>

"Must you do that?" I scowl, bringing my hand to my temple, massaging it lightly. He stops immediately, desperation in his eyes. After a few moments of silence, I answer his question. "He still hasn't come to terms," I tell him, sighing. "He still believes that this is heaven."

Frowning, I can see his fist clench. "This isn't right! I should have been there for him! I should have been able to save him."

"Should have… could have… Does it matter now?" I ponder out-loud. "For what is done is done and now you can only work with what you've been given."

He frowns, so frustrated with how everything has turned out. I can see his anger levels at boiling point and know that whatever brain might reside in there is definitely not functioning behind his swelling guilt.

"So what can we do now?" He finally asks, his voice heavy and empty like a defeated man.

"I've been waiting for you to ask that," I reply, beginning a slow stroll through the room. "It seems to me that Ienzo is far too young to handle so much stress in his life."

"It's not like we can change how old he is," Aeleus barks and I stop, watching this dog yap without a reason.

"We may not be able to change his age… but we can change the course of history." My finger taps against my head lightly, watching the wheels starting to creak inside of this behemoth. "And I know just the witch who would be more than willing to help, seeing that the organization is almost disbanded now."

He frowns, looking down and whispering. "He wouldn't want his memories messed with…"

"But it may be the only way to save him," I reply, crossing my arms.

His lips are so far down, their practically falling off his face as he mutters, "He'd forget about me?"

"He'd forget almost everything…"

Silence fills the room, uncomfortable and eerie. I watch as a shudder runs through him, scared and nervous of the future. But what choice was there?

"Okay… We'll save him."

Nodding, I reply lightly. "Good. I'll try to find Namine then. Stay here until I've returned."

* * *

><p><strong>Aeleus<strong>

* * *

><p>He leaves and my entire being shudders. This really is the end, and I'm terrified. Walking towards the room silently, I knock on the door, not expecting an answer and stepping in. He hasn't answered in weeks…<p>

"Ienzo?" I ask softly, moving towards where he's sitting on his bed, curled up into a ball. His expression is blank, staring into the nothingness before him. He's too thin, an IV attached to his arm to keep him nourished at least. His hair is messy and tangled and his clothes are wrinkled. Frowning, I move towards him, petting through his hair lightly. "We're going to save you now," I tell him lightly. "We're going to help you get better."

He doesn't respond, not blinking or twitching. It frightens me, seeing him like this. It bothers me knowing that I'm the one to blame for his condition.

"So don't worry anymore," I mutter, resting my forehead against his hair, holding him softly. "Everything will be okay." _Even if you never remember me. _"I'll always be here with you." _Even if you never speak again_. "I'll protect you from anything." _Even if you don't love me anymore…_

Kissing his forehead gently, I linger there before whispering, "I love you, Ienzo. I always will." My fingers trace against his cheek lightly, staring into his eyes which still remain unresponsive. Shivering, I straighten my back again, staring down at this boy who's been through so much. Taking in a final look at what I've done, I begin to leave the room, leaving behind the little bird trapped inside its gilded cage. The one I saved and showed the world. The one I loved and earned their love in return. The one I've sworn my life to.

Closing the door, I lean against it, knowing that I'll never see that boy again. And it hurts so much. "Good bye… Ienzo."


	10. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

The hallways are a lot more quiet these days. Even's always hiding down in the lab, preparing to receive more members ever since Dilan had returned to us. Ienzo rarely comes out of his room and I just wander around. It's been a month or so since Kingdom Hearts appeared in the skies, only to disappear hours later. This, Even assumes, means that the Organization failed, therefore, we have to stand by for Lea and Isa.

Lea… like I'd ever let him back into these walls.

Sora's stop coming by so we've been able to wander around freely. I imagine he's returned home for some rest just like those other Keyblade wielders probably did 14 years ago. Although everything seems so much more peaceful, my heart still sighs. It's too quiet… too dull and too painful here.

Rounding the corner though, Ienzo catches my attention, his eyes staring out the window towards the town. The light causes his porcelain face to glow and his irises are bright. He seems curious and moving over, I stand a few feet from him and look out.

"Oh. The festival?" I ponder, seeing all of the commotion below. Dozens of unique stands litter the street, confetti practically raining over them and loud music mixing with the sound of happy cries and laughter.

He doesn't stop staring, his hand touching the glass lightly. Silent like always…

"If you want, I can take you outside of these walls," I offer, hoping that an escort will make him feel safer.

His attention snaps to me and that smile's foreign. His eyes are bright and smiling, I pet his hair lightly, replying, "Let's go then. I know a really nice place to get ice cream."

He nods, bouncing slightly and happily holding my arm, he and I step out into the sunlight once again for the first time. But this time, I won't screw it up. _I'll win your heart again, Ienzo. I promise. _


End file.
